I am crawling the walls here.. I toyed with restoring my old archives but it would just be too damned much work, and I am playing hookey. However, this one post pretty much sums it up, taken from my old blog.

4.9.2004


101 things about me - cuz hey I am way cool too.


1.) I was an accident, a so called pill baby.
2.) Mother never let me forget that I was an accident.
3.) YES she is a bitch.
4.) I was artistic as a child.
5.) I would rather draw than do math any day.
6.) The teachers were not amused.
7.) I attended parochial school from K to 8th grade.
8.) I hated every minute of it.
9.) I knew I was gay when I was 8.
10.) I used to deliberately mutilate biblical verses during recitation to amuse my fans.
11.) Still the teachers were not amused.
12.) Tough crowd those teachers.
13.) I should have started this when I was 11.
14.) I got hammered on Jim Beam the same day I started smoking at age 12. Father had an awesome liquor cabinet.
15.) It got very messy.. Toby would have been proud.
16.) I puked all over the principles legs and into his loafers.
17.) I wanted to fuck the principle.. Puking, same difference right??
18.) I did my first hit of acid in 9th grade.
19.) My Science teacher was a FOX named Mr. Ryan, I feigned near retardation to get one on one time with him..
20.) He WAS amused and had no idea why.
21.) I had sex the first time in a tree fort 100 feet in the air. I was 12.
22.) When I was 13 my older brother charged admission to watch me fuck Lynn O. at the garage window.
23.) He bought an ounce of weed.
24.) I was amused. Columbian Gold WOOOoo fucking HOOO!.
25.) My cover as a gay teen resulted in my fucking 23 girls in Ninth grade. We can now afford angel dust.. yay.
26.) Nobody ever walked away without their cookie.
27.) I was an accomplished Fucker.
28.) Still my teachers were unimpressed.
29.) I was drunk and unconscious through most of Highschool.
30.) I quit polling the teachers - what do they know.
31.) I stole my Father's 69 Boss Mustang when I was 14 and buried it to the floor in mud.
32.) Father was not amused.
33.) I stole my Father's 74 Ghia when I was 14 1/2, Hit 2 poles, creamed both sides, bent all 4 wheels.
34.) It was loud.. FWAP FWAP FWAP!! Jesus. Woke the whole damned neighborhood.
35.) Some of them were amused.. *Takes a bow*
36.) At 15, Mother wanted to have the court declare me incorrigible.
37.) Father found it unnecessary to have a court confirm it.. KUDOS Father.
38.) I moved in with my friend Jacquie and her Mom Jeanne and Bro Peter at age 15.. Fuck you Mom.
39.) Peter was scandalously hot, I wanted him - he never knew.
40.) I was an artist, my specialty was abstract oils and subjects involved physical abuse.
41.) Jeanne was the only one to catch that.. She helped patch me up.
42.) Well she tried.
43.) I don't remember much of 16.. too many clubs with my older bro.
44.) I tracked the really good parties through the cars I wrecked.. Hey it was the 70's.
45.) The Secretary of State was not amused.
46.) In the 7 accidents I had by age 17 I was smashed in all of them yet have NEVER had a DUI or any other ticket.. The 70's had an up side - who knew??
47.) No one other than me was ever injured.. although 3 cars were totaled.
48.) I hunted the one I call my wife on a dare.. She was mine by graduation day.
49.) I cried when I got her knocked up. I was barely 18.
50.) Beneath the drunken closeted gay debaucher there was shockingly a kid who wanted to be a good Dad more than anything in the world. Screwed that closet door shut.
51.) I am crying now.
52.) Against my family's wishes, I was married November 10th, 1979 before 400 witnesses. A drunken good time was had by all.
53.) I dropped out of College to work in a factory and support my family - again fuck you Mom.
54.) You can tell Mom and I are close right??
55.) My Son Shaun was born before my eyes on the 14th of April 1980, I cried really really hard.. I was hit from the moment I held his hand.
56.) I found out my wife was a very crazy violent bitch shortly after. Too late.
57.) Son Ryan, September 7th of '81.
58.) Son Christopher October 3rd of '82.
59.) Through these years I learned you can love someone in ways that have nothing to do with sex, that there are other things that eclipse the needs of one. I also learned that when they betray you it still hurts.
60.) In '88 I learned that women are capable of heinous things when faced with the potential loss of security.
61.) The consummate actress, my wife faked a pregnancy to block me from leaving her.. she rode it right to month nine before confessing.
62.) By the time she confessed she actually was 2 months pregnant. Tricky bitch.
63.) My daughter Tiffany arrives June 16th 1989. I vowed to spoil her rotten, well you know me and vows.
64.) YES I am crying again. Shuddup.
65.) I endured my wife's emotional blackmail, reckless spending, innumerable lies, back stabbing, 2 affairs, drug abuse, physical abuse, mental torture and yes regularly serviced her sexual requirements forsaking all others all the while being a closeted gay man and never stepped out of my role for 24 years.
66.) Learned that even I have limits, that for every lie I accepted part of my self respect died a painful end.
67.) Ran out of self respect, substituted self hatred.
68.) Restoring/painting antique cars was my vocation and I loved it.
69.) In 2000 My wife upon learning I planned to divorce her again popped up pregnant, I was livid convinced it could not be mine.
70.) I insisted on an Amnio. I am so fucking smart.
71.) Don't know how but she was mine. I was so fucking confused.
72.) Sabrina was born 3 months premature on September 12th 2000, at 1 lb 7 oz. She was gorgeous.
73.) She died in my arms October 10th 2000.. I will never forgive myself. Ever.
74.) I am crying again - I can't be doing this right.
75.) My wife resumed her thing with wonder boy, I let her lie to me.
76.) After 8 years of this shit I celebrated with an attempted suicide.
77.) January 3rd 2004, independence day, get out bitch.
78.) This is way more difficult than it looks. She of course refused to leave.. go figure.
79.) A week later at 236 lbs I begin my trek..
80.) I have lost nearly 70 lbs.
81.) She is not amused.
82.) Ya I give a shit.
83.) The funny fucker in me is trying to find his way back.. he RULES you know.
84.) Stepping back - when I decided to start buggering the girls I read everything I could get my hands on.. I am way anal and have to be best at everything I do.
85.) I am now reading all of you in an effort to be the best yet again.. you better know I will blame you if I suck or don't.. Oh you know what I mean.
86.) Yes that was really funny.
87.) No one in my life suspects I am gay accept my Mother.. she does not count.
88.) I work out every day twice a day.
89.) My body now?? Think Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon 1.
90.) Yes boys. It really is that good.
91.) I feel things deeply and wear my heart on my sleeve.
92.) This has been used against me..
93.) I am down to medical information.. gah!
94.) I broke 12 teeth in the last and worst car accident I was in.. Yes they are fixed.
95.) In 95 during a fight with "N" she grabbed my coat then released it - I went down a 1/2 flight of steps and ruptured 4 discs herniated 2 others., wheel chair, 2 surgeries, 2 months in hospital, 1 1/2 months learning how to walk again, 18 months in physical therapy.
96.) In 97 when remodeling the house I nearly severed 3 fingers on a table saw. I am so clever.
97.) Living with someone I can't stand hurts more than any of the above.
98.) God and I talk a lot - he never listens.
99.)(whew) I almost forgot I am also a Poppa - SHUDDUP up lmao!!! Justin is going to be 3 in July.
100.) I adore my kids, they are what I did the best.
101.) I am not afraid to be sappy or emotional.. when you've had a thousand strange medical people playing with your parts embarrassment no longer exists - or is at least a subjective thing. For this guy who is moving minute to minute you people are helping me in ways you may never comprehend, I'm just in awe.

Much Love,
Scott