Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Blog of the day

A Wrinkle in Time, ironic how at times aspects of our lives seem to intersect. Sean too uses his blog as the place to vent his inner most thoughts, sometimes it is the things in us that break our hearts that string us together.

The Parents

The thing about parents is that they seem so omniscient when we are little, and it can be so disillusioning when we realize that they really are just simply human - and often flawed. I am forever amazed that people don't have to be licensed to have children, not that something like that would be fool proof for sure.

I can't stay angry with my parents, no matter what. If they decide to disown me, I'll just continue to love them, because much the same as my relationship with my X I just don't know how to hate. I don't want to learn. I don't have the energy to hate, and if I did, I would hope I could find a better way to use it.

My Father is a brilliant man, Doctorates and all. But he was not equipped to be a father.. in fact if he had to test for such a thing he would certainly have had a tough time achieving "window licker" status. He abused because it was what he was shown. My Mother should have been institutionalized when I was 5.. she could not have even taken the test because she would have to have been sober enough to hold the pencil.

It took me a long time to see that they were just a product of what they passed through on the way. They are still together, making each other miserable still after 48 years of marriage. As if marriage is some kind of holy sissy test that will give you better accommodations in the great hereafter. For an educated man, he doth surprise and confound me. Two people can live a lifetime together, have 4 children and still never be a family.

The money - I was raised like every trust fund brat in many respects.. I'm recovering from that, it's sort of like a handicap you never knew you had. I do wish I had planned a little better.. but wishes don't pay the bills. If I never see the inheritance I'll be just fine. It didn't mean anything to me when I had it and it still doesn't. I waited all my life just to have their love, and some things will just never happen no matter what you do.

In the words that say it better than I can;

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for makin' me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for makin' me a fighter

Adendum:
I think all moronic parental activity should be tried before Judge Judy. Muah!

This just in..
Michigan seems to have misplaced 8,000 or so sex offenders, sorta gives ya that warm fuzzy feeling.