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Blog of the day

Boys will be Boys - Anyone know what happened to him?? The little hottie owes me a lunch.



VH1 I love the 80's 3D.. Hahahaha!! OMG I really did love the 80's. Damn you VH1!

Halloween 1987

My boys.. maybe not so much!! My Grandad either, Black Monday nearly wiped him out.. left him a mere millionair. I loved it.. 87 Cougar Turbocoupe (OMFG I miss that car), Duran Duran hair, and Billy Idol was SOoooo fucking HOT! Well him and a host of other performers.. and Mel Gibson.. *sigh* If you loved the 80's this was a must see - funny stuff.

It had to be today.

Things have been burning in me.. it's time to move this along too much of my life is cut between two world and it has to stop. I have talked about my best friend Jacquie here on many occasions, said that she would be the first one I came out too here in my world. I went to see her today, she still rawks, husband #5 is history - we once again picked up where we left off, shooting the shit over Arabic coffee - which I have to tell you is REALLY REALLY strong.. and thick when you hit the bottom. In all my life she is the one friend that has been right here with me.. she had to be first.

I had to borrow my X's car to get there - which I have to tell you just made me feel dirty all over.. Once I got there I tried several times, and it was like every bad "b" movie ever hatched, everytime I had the words together one of her kids came bouncing in.. so I had like 8 minor heart attacks and then wound up leaving.. but I just couldn't leave it at that, not this time. So I did what I always do - I wrote her.. on yahoo lol. She reminded me why I am so proud to be her friend, and made me totally wonder how she passed typing class.

Me (6:23:05 PM): You there?
jac (6:23:44 PM): hey toots
jac (6:23:45 PM): im here
jac (6:23:47 PM): eating
jac (6:23:48 PM): whats up
Me (6:24:07 PM): Hey babe
Me (6:24:09 PM):
jac (6:24:11 PM): lol
jac (6:24:15 PM): got home ok?
Me (6:24:22 PM): Yeah - ugh
jac(6:24:25 PM): lol
Me (6:24:29 PM): LONG ride lol
jac(6:24:30 PM): where is she?>
jac(6:24:34 PM): the ball and chain?
Me (6:24:40 PM): Who knows - she took the car
jac(6:24:43 PM): hope she is reading this
jac(6:24:44 PM): heheheheheheeheh
jac(6:24:47 PM): awwwwwwww
Me (6:24:47 PM): LMAO!
jac(6:24:50 PM): so u r stuck home?
Me (6:25:03 PM): Yeah temporarily anyway
jac(6:25:09 PM): wheres tiff?
Me (6:25:15 PM): She is here
jac(6:25:23 PM): tell her aunite jacq says hi
jac(6:25:30 PM): kids are going out the door
Me (6:25:33 PM): ok
jac(6:25:34 PM): can u hang on a minute?
Me (6:25:39 PM): She says hi
jac(6:25:43 PM): hi baby girl
Me (6:25:43 PM): sure
jac(6:25:44 PM): miss u
jac(6:25:47 PM): ok brb
Me (6:25:49 PM): k
jac(6:30:35 PM): k
jac(6:30:38 PM): all is quiet here
Me (6:30:41 PM): brb gotta pee
Me (6:30:44 PM): lol
jac(6:30:45 PM): lol
Me (6:33:04 PM):
jac(6:33:07 PM): wb
jac(6:33:22 PM): everything come out ok?
jac(6:33:24 PM): hehehehhe
Me (6:33:27 PM): lmao
Me (6:33:29 PM): Yep
jac(6:33:33 PM): koll
jac(6:33:35 PM): kool
Me (6:33:37 PM): hahah
jac(6:33:39 PM): ur not that old then yet
jac(6:33:39 PM): lol
Me (6:33:47 PM): Hell no hahah
jac(6:33:52 PM): when u have to stand there 20 minutesa
jac(6:33:56 PM): and u get one drop
jac(6:33:57 PM): ur old
jac(6:33:58 PM): lol
Me (6:33:59 PM): LMAO
Me (6:34:06 PM):
jac(6:34:12 PM): so what are ur big plans tonight?
Me (6:34:32 PM): Umm going to the gym with Shaun, then I am not sure
jac(6:34:41 PM): tell the boys i said hi too
Me (6:34:51 PM): I will - they love you
jac(6:34:56 PM): love them all
jac(6:34:58 PM): too much
Me (6:35:20 PM): And I think they love you even more cuz you make N so crazy
Me (6:35:26 PM):
jac(6:35:27 PM): loooooooooooooooool
jac(6:35:33 PM): really she is so stupid
Me (6:35:40 PM): Yeah
Me (6:35:50 PM): Makes me really crazy
jac(6:35:52 PM): it hurst me that she still is this way about me
jac(6:36:03 PM): i have to learn to brush it off
jac(6:36:08 PM): that she is crazy
Me (6:36:17 PM): Well - some things you just can't change
jac(6:36:28 PM): guess i should be happy
jac(6:36:33 PM): she must think im still hot
jac(6:36:34 PM): lol
Me (6:36:41 PM): And the fact is - I always made it clear you and I will always be close
jac(6:36:44 PM):
jac(6:36:50 PM): ya too bad for her
jac(6:37:00 PM): i was never a threat
jac(6:37:09 PM): we are family scottie
jac(6:37:10 PM): always
Me (6:37:11 PM): OK are all the kids out of the room?
jac(6:37:18 PM): ya why?
Me (6:37:23 PM): hehe
jac(6:37:24 PM):
jac(6:37:27 PM): lol
Me (6:37:29 PM): Gah
jac(6:37:36 PM): what u gonna show me now?
jac(6:37:45 PM): they are gone till sunday now
Me (6:37:47 PM): I had something to tell you actually
jac(6:37:52 PM): ok tell away
jac(6:37:55 PM): im all ears
Me (6:37:59 PM): Hahahha
Me (6:38:20 PM): OMG - I wanted to tell you this afternoon but the kids kept coming up
jac(6:38:26 PM): ok
jac(6:38:27 PM): whgat?
jac(6:38:28 PM): tell me
Me (6:38:35 PM): Your going to shit
jac(6:38:38 PM): ok
jac(6:38:40 PM): im ready
jac(6:38:41 PM): what
jac(6:38:43 PM): ur gay?
jac(6:38:45 PM): looooooooooooooooooooool
jac(6:38:50 PM): s;ldkfs;dlkfs;ldfks;'dlkfd;lkf
Me (6:38:52 PM): Um yes.
jac(6:38:55 PM): ;p;
jac(6:38:57 PM): lol
jac(6:38:58 PM): what?
jac(6:39:01 PM): just tell me
Me (6:39:10 PM): Why you just guessed
jac(6:39:14 PM): no
jac(6:39:16 PM): stop
jac(6:39:17 PM): lol
jac(6:39:51 PM): u want N to hear this? that is why i saying this?
Me (6:39:53 PM): Jacquie seriously you can't say a word to anyone yet
jac(6:40:00 PM): scott?
Me (6:40:05 PM): Yes
jac(6:40:10 PM): dont lie
Me (6:40:14 PM): LOL
jac(6:40:25 PM): u know i love u no matter what
jac(6:40:33 PM): but tell me the truth
Me (6:40:34 PM): omg - I knew this shit was going to be hard.
jac(6:40:42 PM): u are serious?
Me (6:40:45 PM): Yes
jac(6:40:49 PM): well
jac(6:40:55 PM): i love u
jac(6:40:57 PM): how is that?
jac(6:41:02 PM): im at a loss of words
Me (6:41:05 PM): I know
jac(6:41:11 PM): i guess it makes some sense
jac(6:41:19 PM): since u never cheated on N
Me (6:41:27 PM): I wanted so much to tell you - I have chickened out every time
jac(6:41:27 PM): but i m a little suprised
jac(6:41:37 PM): how long have u know this baby?
Me (6:41:46 PM): I knew when I was 8
jac(6:42:04 PM): and u never told me?
jac(6:42:09 PM): why not honey?
jac(6:42:11 PM): om,g
Me (6:42:13 PM): I just thought if I tryed really hard - it would all be ok
jac(6:42:20 PM): baby
jac(6:42:24 PM): it is ok
jac(6:42:26 PM): this is who u are
Me (6:42:36 PM): I haven't told the kids yet
jac(6:42:39 PM): but i would have never guessed
Me (6:42:46 PM): I'm fucking terrified
jac(6:42:51 PM): i understand that
jac(6:42:59 PM): i dont know how the boys will react
jac(6:43:02 PM): baby?
jac(6:43:07 PM): have u been with a man?
Me (6:43:07 PM): I know
jac(6:43:11 PM): or u just knwo u are?
Me (6:43:15 PM): Men? lol
jac(6:43:20 PM): ok
jac(6:43:24 PM): just checking
jac(6:43:25 PM): lol
Me (6:43:30 PM): I know
jac(6:43:30 PM): i ahve a sister in law
jac(6:43:32 PM): thinks she is
jac(6:43:36 PM): and has never been with a woman
jac(6:43:42 PM): so i told her how can she really know
jac(6:43:49 PM): baby....i have been with woman
Me (6:44:32 PM): I know - and it was right on the edge of my tongue today, and then you asked me if I ever thought about sleeping with you LOL
jac(6:44:40 PM): lol
jac(6:44:48 PM): scott
jac(6:44:53 PM): i love u no matter what u are
jac(6:44:59 PM): nothing can change this
jac(6:45:04 PM): and the kids should feel the same way
Me (6:45:12 PM): I about shit - then D came up and well - I just didn't want you screaming and scaring the kids lmao
jac(6:45:14 PM): if they love u half as much as i do?
Me (6:45:24 PM): I know
jac(6:45:28 PM): i would never have reacted that way
jac(6:45:38 PM): im ur sister all ur life scott
Me (6:45:45 PM): You Mom is going to have some major issues with this
jac(6:45:45 PM): u should know me better than this
jac(6:45:50 PM): fuck her
jac(6:45:51 PM): lol
Me (6:45:51 PM): I do
Me (6:45:56 PM): I was just scared
jac(6:46:01 PM): scott....u r divorced
jac(6:46:03 PM): over 21
jac(6:46:04 PM): white
jac(6:46:07 PM): its ur life
jac(6:46:13 PM): anyone who cant aceptt this
jac(6:46:15 PM): can fuck off
Me (6:46:20 PM): Anyway N already knows
jac(6:46:24 PM): she does?
jac(6:46:24 PM): omg
jac(6:46:25 PM): omg
jac(6:46:30 PM): and?
Me (6:46:35 PM): When she stole my computer she downloaded my hardrive
jac(6:46:36 PM): she told ur parents?
Me (6:46:42 PM): yep
jac(6:46:47 PM): then that is why
Me (6:46:56 PM): She swears she didn't but I know she must have
jac(6:47:09 PM): and how did she react to this?
Me (6:47:14 PM): you know her - this was prime info
jac(6:47:31 PM): i bet
Me (6:47:37 PM): Actually - she was really understanding.. at least on the surface
jac(6:47:57 PM): yes but she belevieed u?
Me (6:48:05 PM): And she was begging me to just live with her and we will keep this "our little secret"
jac(6:48:16 PM): she knew long tim?
Me (6:48:26 PM): Yeah - well there was a lot of really damning eveidence on this computer
Me (6:48:37 PM): She knew the week I moved out
jac(6:48:42 PM): omg baby
Me (6:48:55 PM): She has been blackmailing me for months
jac(6:49:00 PM): then let her tell
jac(6:49:03 PM): stop this
Me (6:49:13 PM): It makes me so crazy
jac(6:49:29 PM): u cantlive a lie hun
Me (6:49:36 PM): She does it in such a veilled way - honestly I dont know what to think sometimes
Me (6:49:52 PM): And that is also why I dropped the ppo
jac(6:49:59 PM): ???
Me (6:50:03 PM): thats when she hit me with it
Me (6:50:18 PM): She kept saying I know your secret and shit
jac(6:50:39 PM): scott
Me (6:50:39 PM): Honestly jacquie I never ever cheated on that bitch
jac(6:50:47 PM): i belvie u
Me (6:50:51 PM): And she left me wishing I would have
jac(6:50:54 PM): but u must stand up now
jac(6:50:59 PM): and not give her any more power
Me (6:51:11 PM): I know - but omg I am scared
jac(6:51:28 PM): what is the worst that will happen?
Me (6:51:49 PM): I have talked to different people - your Mom, Peter, - and the things they said just cut right through me
jac(6:52:04 PM): abput this?
Me (6:52:21 PM): I also got a load from my little bro while the divorce was going on
Me (6:52:30 PM): I didn't tell them I was
Me (6:52:42 PM): But the subject of gays has come up yeah
jac(6:52:46 PM): well
jac(6:52:55 PM): there is a diff between gays and u
jac(6:52:58 PM): they love u
Me (6:53:00 PM): And I have to say I was really shocked with your Mom
jac(6:53:07 PM): in general most ppl have bad attittude
jac(6:53:14 PM): scott
jac(6:53:19 PM): fuck her
jac(6:53:25 PM): what do u really care what she sayd?
Me (6:53:57 PM): And Peter really surprized me too - it really made me hold back
jac(6:54:17 PM): mo m has been in the art world all her life
jac(6:54:23 PM): she is no stranger to this
Me (6:54:36 PM): Then my little bro reffered to gays as deviates - and that was like a major slap
jac(6:54:53 PM): ppl say things wihout thinking
jac(6:55:03 PM): it doesnt mean they will feel this way when they know
jac(6:55:12 PM): i ahve thought peter was for years
jac(6:55:13 PM): lol
jac(6:55:14 PM): so?
Me (6:55:16 PM): I am just not sure what I will have left at the end of this
jac(6:55:23 PM): me
jac(6:55:26 PM):
Me (6:55:29 PM):
jac(6:55:33 PM): scott
Me (6:55:33 PM): I love you
jac(6:55:37 PM): i lvoe u too
jac(6:55:43 PM): and i will always be here for u
jac(6:55:46 PM): u know
Me (6:55:50 PM): I know
jac(6:55:54 PM): my kids had a hard time wtih gays too
jac(6:55:58 PM): until they met my cousin
jac(6:56:00 PM): fritz
jac(6:56:10 PM): adn pierce told me mom...........
jac(6:56:25 PM): fritz changed my whole out look on gays
jac(6:56:28 PM): fritz cried
Me (6:56:32 PM): Aww
jac(6:56:38 PM): ppl who really love u
jac(6:56:44 PM): will aceppt this
jac(6:56:47 PM): i swear
jac(6:56:53 PM): all u need to worry about
jac(6:56:55 PM): is tiff
jac(6:56:56 PM): ok?
Me (6:57:14 PM): I am just as frightened too that I am taking the only stable figure my kids have had away from them
Me (6:57:37 PM): They are going to think I have gone completely crazy
jac(6:57:59 PM): bay
jac(6:58:00 PM): baby
jac(6:58:07 PM): i cant say that wont happen
jac(6:58:08 PM): but
jac(6:58:14 PM): u must be honest with them
jac(6:58:17 PM): they know u are not nuts
jac(6:58:20 PM): and if u tell them
jac(6:58:25 PM): this has been inside u
jac(6:58:26 PM): all ur life
jac(6:58:30 PM): they will understang
jac(6:58:43 PM): its not soemthing u just decided to do
jac(6:59:36 PM): i think at first the boys will be shocked
jac(6:59:39 PM): but they love u
jac(6:59:47 PM): well
Me (6:59:56 PM): I know
jac(7:00:02 PM): honestly
jac(7:00:10 PM): i would have said u are a ladies man
Me (7:00:26 PM): God Jacquie for the longest time I was
jac(7:00:38 PM): maybe this was to hide the truth
jac(7:00:44 PM): if u have known since 8?
Me (7:00:46 PM): Like I thought if I screwed enough of them it would just go away
jac(7:00:51 PM): maybe
jac(7:01:01 PM): u are sure u dont like woman too?
Me (7:01:08 PM): Yeah - I think a lot of it was a front
Me (7:01:19 PM): Yeah - I'm sure
jac(7:01:22 PM): ok
jac(7:01:25 PM): i mean i like woman
jac(7:01:29 PM): but i know it want men more
jac(7:01:30 PM): lol
jac(7:01:33 PM): for sure
jac(7:01:38 PM): and i do not think i anm gay
jac(7:01:50 PM): god if N gets this
jac(7:01:53 PM): im fucked too
jac(7:01:53 PM): lol
Me (7:02:01 PM): When my marriage went in the toilet - I decided that I was going to live my life my way
jac(7:02:11 PM): scott
Me (7:02:15 PM): hahhaha
jac(7:02:15 PM): just be careful
jac(7:02:21 PM): last thing i need is for u to get scik
Me (7:02:27 PM): I know
jac(7:02:28 PM): roys best firend went this way
Me (7:02:32 PM): I am safe
jac(7:02:37 PM): and its god awful to watch
jac(7:02:59 PM): well...now u have told me
Me (7:03:02 PM): I know - -the first guy I was ever with died in 95 of aids
jac(7:03:03 PM): and i lvoe u more than before
Me (7:03:13 PM):
jac(7:03:17 PM): so u had a man long time ago?
Me (7:03:27 PM): You know you were the first person I had to tell
jac(7:03:29 PM): and now u have a pal to go to the bar with
jac(7:03:29 PM): lol
Me (7:03:36 PM): When I was 13
jac(7:03:38 PM): im honored baby
jac(7:03:46 PM): and a little pissed off
jac(7:03:46 PM): lol
jac(7:03:50 PM): that u waited so long
Me (7:04:00 PM): Aww don't
jac(7:04:02 PM): u should have told me at 16
jac(7:04:06 PM):
Me (7:04:09 PM): I was just terrified
jac(7:04:12 PM): i thought we were close?
jac(7:04:13 PM): lol
Me (7:04:28 PM): I know but Jaquie things were so much different then
jac(7:04:33 PM): scott
jac(7:04:38 PM): i wil never turn my back on u
jac(7:04:38 PM): ok?
jac(7:04:39 PM): never
Me (7:04:52 PM): That means so much to me
jac(7:04:59 PM): adn this doesnt change who u are
jac(7:05:04 PM): not to me or ur kids
jac(7:05:10 PM): adn if u need me to help u
jac(7:05:11 PM): i will
jac(7:05:15 PM): i can be with u
jac(7:05:17 PM): when u tell them
jac(7:05:21 PM): but i think u should
jac(7:05:36 PM): cut N loose baby
jac(7:05:42 PM): set urself free of her
Me (7:05:45 PM): I think I better tell them alone, only because I want their honest reaction
jac(7:05:58 PM): well if u need help
jac(7:05:59 PM): i am here
jac(7:06:06 PM): but i would do it with all three
jac(7:06:12 PM): if u tell one
jac(7:06:15 PM): and they tell the other
jac(7:06:17 PM): not good hun
Me (7:06:17 PM): I don't know what I am going to do if they hate me Jaquie
Me (7:06:22 PM): I'll die
jac(7:06:22 PM): scott
jac(7:06:25 PM): they cant hate u
jac(7:06:26 PM): never
jac(7:06:29 PM): they may get mad
jac(7:06:33 PM): i cant say they wont
jac(7:06:37 PM): but they will come around
jac(7:06:39 PM): ok?
Me (7:06:45 PM): Yeah
jac(7:06:46 PM): they are smart open minded men
jac(7:06:54 PM): but u must tell them
jac(7:06:59 PM): that u knew this all ur life
jac(7:06:59 PM): ok?
jac(7:07:08 PM): be straight about this
Me (7:07:10 PM): Yes
jac(7:07:14 PM): let them know u stayed with N
jac(7:07:15 PM): for them
jac(7:07:20 PM): this will help
Me (7:07:27 PM): I will - they know that anyway
jac(7:07:42 PM): wellthey will know it more nnow
jac(7:07:47 PM): to know how u suffered
Me (7:07:52 PM): Yeah
jac(7:07:54 PM): and what u sacrifced
jac(7:08:10 PM): scott?
Me (7:08:21 PM): You know the sad thing is Jacquie that if she never would have cheated I never would have left
jac(7:08:36 PM): i know baby...she did all this
Me (7:08:46 PM): I would have lived the rest of my life without it
jac(7:08:50 PM): i know
jac(7:08:52 PM): scott?
Me (7:08:56 PM): Yes
jac(7:09:04 PM): dotn ever keep anythign from me agian
jac(7:09:05 PM): ok?
jac(7:09:06 PM): never
Me (7:09:09 PM): I wont
jac(7:09:09 PM): swear it
Me (7:09:13 PM): I swear
jac(7:09:16 PM): ok
jac(7:09:23 PM): and this is not the end of the world
jac(7:09:31 PM): u will feel the weight of the world off u
Me (7:09:34 PM): I was going to tell you last year
jac(7:09:35 PM): once u free urself
jac(7:09:41 PM): i wish u had baby
Me (7:09:47 PM): I know - this has been really killing me
jac(7:09:53 PM): im sure it is
jac(7:09:58 PM): but nothing is worth giving up
jac(7:09:58 PM): ok?
jac(7:09:59 PM): nothing
Me (7:10:04 PM): OK
jac(7:10:06 PM): even if they hate u for awhile
jac(7:10:11 PM): they will get over it
Me (7:10:35 PM): God you have no idea how glad I am to have you
jac(7:10:41 PM): awwwwwwwww
jac(7:10:45 PM): and i am to have u
jac(7:10:51 PM): we stand together
jac(7:10:53 PM): ok?
Me (7:10:55 PM):
jac(7:10:57 PM): i am here
Me (7:10:58 PM): ok
Me (7:11:13 PM): I'm all teary here
jac(7:11:13 PM): just im worried about ur state of mind
jac(7:11:17 PM): i love u
jac(7:11:24 PM): i dont want u thinking in any way
jac(7:11:29 PM): to take ur life scott
jac(7:11:31 PM): nothjing is worth this
jac(7:11:34 PM): promise me
jac(7:11:40 PM): i know u scott
Me (7:11:40 PM): I wont.. I promise
Me (7:11:59 PM): As long as I know I have somewhere to run if this all falls apart
jac(7:12:05 PM): if u can live with n all these years
jac(7:12:09 PM): and not kill urself
jac(7:12:15 PM): u can live thru this
jac(7:12:15 PM): lol
Me (7:12:19 PM): LOL
Me (7:12:23 PM): Good point
jac(7:12:23 PM): u have my home
jac(7:12:26 PM): and my arms
jac(7:12:26 PM): always
jac(7:12:41 PM): adn let me tell u somthing
jac(7:12:44 PM): very clearly
jac(7:12:45 PM): ok?
Me (7:12:55 PM): k
jac(7:13:03 PM): if u do soemthing
jac(7:13:05 PM): stupid
jac(7:13:07 PM): and selfish
jac(7:13:15 PM): u will make the kids live fucked up more
jac(7:13:19 PM): and u will leave them
jac(7:13:27 PM): with only the crack whore
jac(7:13:29 PM): u want this?
jac(7:13:40 PM): they need u
jac(7:13:43 PM): they still need u
Me (7:13:45 PM): I know
jac(7:13:47 PM): gay or no gay
jac(7:13:48 PM): ok?
jac(7:13:59 PM): better gay then dead and with only N
Me (7:14:08 PM): And this has had me so fucked up for this past year I have just frozen Jacquie
jac(7:14:17 PM): no more
jac(7:14:22 PM): its time to be free scott
jac(7:14:27 PM): adn the first step
jac(7:14:28 PM): was now
jac(7:14:29 PM): telling me
jac(7:14:30 PM): ok?
jac(7:14:36 PM): baby steps

We chatted for a while after, they say you can never go home.. but for me she was always home, and yes you can go back.