The back story
"G" and I met online a few weeks ago. A 39 year old Automotive Designer, who was handsome, witty, sexy, and available. We met over lunch at one of my fav restaurants, and immediately there was chemistry. Having got my start in Prototype and advanced vehicle development he and I knew many of the same people, shared the same interest in cars.. I was pinching myself.

Then half way through lunch comes the confession. Seems a young guy "J" who I had recently met and he were "friends", and he went on to tell me that said young man was developing a real "love thing" for me. I was a little taken aback as I had only met the guy once for coffee, he then sprung the added surprise - the young man in question was far younger than he claimed to be and that he felt I should know.

Well, first of all, I had no plans to actually have more than a friendship with this guy, but after talking with "G" decided to make a break with the whole thing to avoid any further trouble. "G" then set the hook by telling me he had been skeptical about the raving that "J" had done about my looks, and how knocked out he was.. Lord I am such a sucker. We then resumed the small talk, and flirtation. After a nearly 2 hour lunch, I walked him to his car and kissed him hard.. no really he was.

Things not to do on the second date..
We chatted a couple dozen times online afterward, and spoke on the phone, set the next date. OK, so I starved/worked out hard for 2 days to look extra cut in a shirt you could read through and an ass hugging pair of jeans.. hence the triple crown of stupidity began. On the way to "G's" I told myself all the way there I was not sleeping with this one. When he started pouring cocktails I told myself I was only having one. I was going to play this cool and not do my usual spill my guts thing.

Second prong of the triple crown, - I never listen to me. 4 fingers of Captain Morgans spiced rum hit my empty body like a hit of morphine and all sensibility left the room. G was really sweet, we talked forever, right through the second and third drinks.. and the third prong of the triple crown fell.. heavy discussion involving a subject that hit very close to the bone for me.

Ahh yes somehow or another the conversation turned to abortion, a very private decision for the individuals involved which I support to a degree. IMO once the fetus has a heartbeat it is a human being. He was quizzical as to why I felt this way at which point the story of my daughter Sabrina just came spilling out... the babies in the ward at the time she was born some as young as 22 weeks, babies that lived. Before I could pull out of it the tears just fell like rain.

The truth is she was the single most profound moment of my life.. and I cry everytime I think of her. As humans we get no closer to perfection than a baby. As a parent, you are programmed to do everything in your power to keep them safe.. they steal your heart the moment you lay eyes on them and you are never the same again. When faced with a situation that is dire, in my daughter's case the fact that she was born at 26 weeks.. and the reality that things are so far out of your control, you convert helplessness to hope because it is all you have left.

I knelt every night in the parking garage praying that she would make it.. I spent every second imagining what she would look like when she grew up, picturing her personality, all conjured from little nuances found in her tiny face as I watched her sleep, struggle, and eventually slip away in my arms.

It just spilled out, lid off can - worms everywhere.

"G" was really sweet, he got all teary eyed watching me come unglued, said all the right things, and next thing I know - well so much for not sleeping with this one.

We spoke on the phone the next day and we were still both very much into each other, set plans to meet again.. and then while chatting with him I flip to "J's" profile noticing he had changed his pics - bleached his hair, curious I looked at the rest to find he was posed stark naked on "G's" Chaise, fireplace, and other familiar surroundings.. friends huh.

Well I of course couldn't just ignor it. While we in no way had even remotely implied that we were going down the ltr road or anything similar to monogomy, I did feel it was a bit odd that this young man's clothes had mysteriously gone missing within a day of our date. The blonde hair was the key to the time frame as I had seen the guy a day before the date and his hair was still very dark.

Aparently I was dipping in "G's" coolaid? My bad.

The only thing that makes me feel dirty is the fact I shared something real..

The next big twist

Stay tuned..