Things that make me go hmm.
I'm slowly Forest Gumping my way around catching up on all my favorite Blogs, Toby is of course a natch for the top of the list. I'm really not sure why, I mean yeah he is hot which doesn't hurt, but beyond that there is some strange allure. Charisma, yes there is that too, but more than that there is evolution, watching a young man unfold. Having three sons I find this most intriguing. Lastly there is that ever present uber bitch attitude that I am inexplicably amused by - perhaps it's the arrogance of his youth that turns me on. Eh whatever.
I read Toby's post, commenting on Secret Simons situation and found his direction as usual surprising. Not offensive, just surprising. Seems Toby, who has in the past mentioned his hurt in the notion his Dad can't accept his sexuality, has some issues with the idea that a guy can be married, have kids, and then deal with his sexuality. In fact the longer I am "in" the more common I am finding this. Perhaps it is his candor that draws me there, because this issue is looming large for me as well.
My boys are his age, my daughter another issue altogether. The thought of loosing them horrifies me. The possibility is real. I raised them to be accepting, tolerant human beings - yet this is different.
To Toby it seems apparently unfathomable that a man could marry, have kids, and then deal with his sexuality. My answer? Not all of us are as brave as Toby. Many of us are like water, following the path of least resistance, doing what our world dictated, doing what we thought was right. Toby is true to himself, perhaps to me that is the most endearing thing about him. He had/has the hutzpa to grab it all by the horns, fuck what people think. Toby did it right. Right?
Toby's sentiments on this reflect judgment. Judgment that he feels his father hands down on his life and choices, held separate from the ones he makes on others. If I were Toby's father, I would be proud that I raised a confident, self assured man - revel in his accomplishments, secretly laugh at his antics, pat myself on the back for having done my job well..
However, I would not be telling him I was Gay any time soon.
Acceptance and tolerance are often subject to judgment and delivered on a double edged sword.
PS. On an unrelated note, does anyone know what Toby did to fix his elbow?? I seem to be suffering the same affliction. Ouch. Moving from 45 to 50 lb. dumbell curls last night by right elbow is now in agony.
