Shameless self promotion.. yup!
Alrighty then. Where were we before we were so rudely interrupted by the crazy lady. OH yeah. The woman was on to me ya'll, and in fact may have evidence of sorts to "out" me. Whatever.. bring it.
So, on December 7th, having grown weary of her tirades, and in the face of a few violent altercations where the vapid bitch actually physically attacked me - I phoned my lawyer, fired him, retained a new lawyer, rented a really great apartment, and phoned her to let her know I was checking out. My attorney was drafting a custody agreement, and I asked her if she were going to be a big girl and sign it, or did I need to have her served. Long silence, followed by a chain of expletives shrieked in an octave similar to that screeching music from the shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock's infamous movie, Psycho. Cool.
I have to admit I enjoyed it immensely, and wish I could have seen the look on her face. I head to the gym, do my thing and get a call from my youngest son, who is frantic and begging me not to go home because she is there throwing dishes, ranting and saying she is going to kill me. Stellar.
My daughter was at the movies - I tried to raise her on her cell to stop her from going home.. too late. She is at home with the crazy lady. SHIT. Crazy hears her on the phone to me and decides to conduct an inquiry, when my girl told her she wasn't talking - the ex decided to try and choke her.
I dropped the phone and called 911 en-route. In the meantime she calls my parents telling them she intends to kill me.. big mistake. By the time the dust cleared that night I had my daughter secured and my ex in the mental wing of our local hospital - she feigned an attempted suicide. I woke at 6 AM to her on my chest whispering "Time to die mother fucker!" Needless to say I wigged and sat up knocking her to the floor.
I attempted to grab my computer, she promptly picked up the hardrive over her head and spiked it off the floor. Nice. Then she doused my bed and the floor with the bottles of Captain Morgan's left over from my attempted suicide the year before.. ironic. Later that day under police escort my daughter and I left the house, stuffing our clothes in my Exploder by the arm load.
A week of insane phone calls, faxing lists of belongings back and forth, I show up to pick up my stuff. More arguing yadda yadda yadda. I spend a week and a small ransom replacing everything I didn't take. Home free right? Yeah you go with that.
When I went to change the info at my Bank, in person mind you, I made it very clear that my ex was a future axe murderer, and that my info was to remain absolutely secret. The idiots mailed a "Confirmation of change of address" to my house, thereby giving the crazy bitch my exact location.
More weeks of arguing, several custody agreement drafts, she finally signs off after I agree not to make her pay support. I have to go by the house to pick up some more junk, she asks me why I haven't hung any artwork at my apartment yet.. I'm like HUH? Have you been looking in my windows??! Her - "No, I have been in your apartment." Color me freaked out.
Turns out she snuck passed the security doors behind another tenant, my daughter had left the apartment door unlocked - she let herself in and toured my apartment at her leisure WHILE WE SLEPT. SO. I tell her if I see her at or around my apartment unannounced or uninvited again I will have her arrested.. well she replies that she has rented an apartment in the complex NEXT to mine..WTF!
In short, the bitch is stalking me. She phoned me out of the blue last week as I was driving home from the furniture store in the middle of the day, my new box spring strapped in the hatch, wanting to know what that was hanging out of my truck. I am not amused. A week later my son and I are having coffee - she phones wanting to know if we are having a good time. Alas it is her word against mine, so legal remedies are pretty slim. I tell her to get off my nuts, or I will enforce the child support issue and nail her for alimony as well. She doesn't call me anymore with my whereabouts, but trust, she is watching.
In addition to this - skipping back a tad here. While she had my computer, she had her boss download the entire contents of my hardrive - which contained mucho dirt no doubt. She has made several veiled remarks regarding my "secret" - and well, whatever.
In the meantime - much bliss has been found. The silence has been remarkable, my daughter is thriving at school again, and we are happy.. REALLY happy. I've met a few hot guys, gone on some great dates. Life is bloody glorious.
I talked to my attack dog Dianne, who's nickname is "The Snake", and she is pressing to get this settled on March 9th. In 2 short months she has performed the miracle that other cash grubbing swine could not, and I have half a mind to sue him. But I am to fucking happy to get wrapped up in a suit right now.. unless "T", my brand new man is wearing it.
He lives a ways from here so we will have to take turns commuting, but he is fucking hot and well worth the trip. Suddenly life is very sweet. I took him to dinner the night before last, this guy is just too cute. At 33, he is a taller leaner, prettier version of Heath Ledger. We are not exclusive - but there are the building blocks for something more than sex.
Somebody pinch me.
On the physical front - I am adding some mass having finally gotten past my fear of food.. shuddup. My chest is up 2", and I feel great.. gah I am sickening here LOL! Sue me. I worked my fucking ass off and have just about reached the promised land.. and it is sweet ya'll, sweeter than I can put into words.
Mindless my ass.
The archives.
Well some day if I get Really, really bored.. REALLY bored, I may take the time to restore them.
