Part II
Sorry to leave ya'll hangin. I've no doubt whatever that she is blackmailing me.. funny I guess I knew it would come down to this. I've been in sort of a daze for a week now. I guess when she didn't hang me out there months ago when I moved out, I thought I was in the clear.. That's what I get for thinking.

I'm faced with choices I don't want to make, I'm not ready to make, and fighting the urge to bury my head in a pillow praying it will all just be over with. I hate her for this. She is back to calling me every day, and jambing my voice mail. She must really believe I'll do anything to keep this secret. I'm so angry with myself for having let corner me like this.

I'm not ready for this, my kids aren't ready for this, it will hurt them no matter what.. and I guess the thing that rocks me most is that she doesn't care. To her they are simply game pieces that she moves around tho board while trying to take me down. It makes me cringe to think I spent all these years with someone that despicable and black hearted. What a tragic waste of time.

Sometimes when you don't know what to do, the best idea is to do nothing. Much like the evil bastard that taught me about the dark backside of secrets all those years ago - my X doesn't know it but she exists in a state of mutual destruction, as I am sure if she does out me it will explode in her face... sometimes they really do shoot the messenger. If she doesn't, I know the time is near that I will tell them. I'm building the strength to survive the inescapable losses that I know are coming.

Every train wreck eventually grinds to a halt. They rescue the survivors, tend to the wounded, and bury the dead.