23 Years of shit eating grins..

Happy Birthday Christopher!!

My youngest son is 23 today.. this one never fails to make me smile. Memories of him at the age of 5, he looked like a blond haired Cambodian, spindly little legs and arms with a little pot belly, every icecream he ate would be trailing down his belly and into his underwear. What seems to stick for me most, this boy had amazing comic timing, and the deepest raspy voice I have ever heard eek out of a five year old. Huge brown eyes that seemed to smile at you even when he was cross.. which was almost never.

In his Kindergarten play, he was a prairie creature. I had worked with him for weeks on his lines - he laughed at me every night, said it was a dumb play and there was no way he was going to do it. I of course explained that the universe would grind to a halt if he didn't do his part.. he laughed at me. *sigh*

So the day of the play comes along and he stands there on stage, silently grinning ear to ear, staring straight at me arms folded in defiance.. motionless. I gesture to him with my hands to speak - adding the evil shaking finger routine that NEVER works, he starts to mimic me - laughing all the while. I make a choking motion - as if to feign that if he does not do his part I will of course choke him - he gets a shit eating grin on his face and mimics that as well, for a second faking near death - adding a full body wreathing death.. and now he is giggling and snorting so hard, his 2 buddies next to him are no longer doing their parts but watching the two of us in the gesture battle.. this spreads down the row of prairie creatures like wildfire.. he has the entire audience roaring as well, although for a second they had no idea why, outside the sheer caustic laughter that Christopher was caught up in, that seemed to be taking over the scene. In seconds - their eyes followed his to me, and caught me doing the choking thing, at which point when Christopher sees that they have flat out busted me - he points at me - and the next thing I know he is literally rolling on the stage in laughter.... Seriously - at this point I was in tears I was laughing so hard.. luckily so was the audience. I worship this kid.. That was actually the highlight of the play that year - even his teacher gave it 2 thumbs up.

A scrapper with "David Spade" humor and a bull headed, determined, nature that even makes me cringe. Right from the start this one had to be different, in kindergarten he insisted that since I cut his older brother Ryan's hair in mini blinds - (lol shuddup) that he HAD to have the "Batman" insignia shaved into the sides of his head.. well - his hair was so blonde in order for it to show up I had to color it in with marker! Hahhaha!

He was positively beaming when he got to school that day, my job as super cool Dad was done. Then I got a call at work from the principal, asking that I please NEVER color his head again.. seems the rest of the class thought it was cool too and decided to try it out themselves.. oof.

This one was my sidekick through many a side job, one summer, he couldn't have been more than 6, I was doing a 66 T-bird- going hard custom for a European tour, shaved door handles & locks, yadda yadda yadda - he sat beside me the whole time, sneaking the used sand paper and sanding down an old bike frame that had been sitting on the side of the garage for years. The kid had that thing looking like a Delorean - there wasn't a fleck of paint or rust anywhere.

When we went to paint it I ordered him his own little respirator, hung the bike from a tree, put my paint gun in his hand and picked him up so he could reach it to paint it- Porsche Red. Of course once he went in to clean up I finished it in a little.. I took him to Toys R Us and he picked out a Zebra skin seat and pads, chopper style hand grips, and mud tires.. this bike cost me a fortune, but the look on his face was worth every cent.

This one.. always pushing the envelope, setting things on fire, you know the usual kid stuff. The little league games with ice fights in the hotel rooms at the away games, his 93 Probe that used to throw up a smoke screen that James Bond would have envied, the occasional "mooning" of the wretched neighbor lady across the street.. and the most disgusting farts in human history, visited on the unsuspecting house guests (his 6 buddies)- touching off wrestling matches that destroyed 2 livingroom sets and a fortune in crystal by the time he graduated..

At 23, still beside me.. he's been working out with me at the gym the past few weeks, getting over a split with a girl he was with for the past 3 years, one who was WAY too much like the gal that married dear old Dad. Still the same tenacity - the same wry humor, and thanks to the protein shakes - farts that have exceeded the state's safe allowable methane limits. He is intent to catch up to me, and I have no doubt he will. When I look at him, listen to him.. I am somehow reassured that I really did do it right.

When he hugs me goodbye every night I am sure I did.

So Happy Birthday son, I am so proud to be your Dad.