I am such a floozy. No really. I have reached the point of sexual overload that I can flirt without effort and in fact now seem to do it without realizing. Is this how Heidi Fliess got her start? My regular gym is closed this week so I have been going to my backup gym.. shuddup - act like you don't have one.

Anyhoe - my backup gym is way cruizier (is that a word?) than the regular place, and if a guy is looking at me there chances are good he is "lookin" and not just checking out my form. Hot. Not that I don't adore the straight boys I work out with, they have all become great friends - but it is a pleasant change to be openly checked out by guys who wanna.. hahahhah!! OK now THAT was really gay.

Been chatting it up with "S" all week about the next date and propposed hotel gymnastics (YAY) - "P" seemed to have left me on the back burner.. not to be ignored I sent him a message" Don't you ever miss me?" (Needy I know but wtf) then he hits me up and tells me he loves waking up to my scent on his sheets in the morning. What the hell is that. One minute I get the feeling it could be more and just when I am ready to say the words he dissapears to Chicago, or Dallas, or (your city here).. Guys are such ass hats.

If all this wasn't campy enough I haven't given up Manhunt.

My X met the kids and I for breakfast this morning and this came over the radio..

What happened to the world we knew
When we would dream and scheme
And while the time away
Yesterme yesteryou yesterday
Where did it go that yester glow
When we could feel
The wheel of life turn our way
Yesterme yesteryou yesterday
I had a dream so did you
life was warm and love was true
Two kids who followed all the rules
Yester fools and now
Now it seems those yester dreams
Were just a cruel
And foolish game we used to play
Yesterme yesteryou yesterday
When I recall what we had
I feel lost I feel sad with nothing but
The memory of yester love and now
Now it seems those yester dreams
Were just a cruel
And foolish game we had to play
Yesterme yesteryou yesterday
Yesterme yesteryou yesterday
Sing with me
Yesterme yesteryou yesterday
One more time.....

Funny.. that song never choked me up before.. I had to get up and leave the table.

I know it's silly but there are times when I still wonder if I did the right thing.. not for me but for the kids. I don't think there is a parent alive that didn't want that stupid Ward and June Cleaver picture for their kids. Damned sitcoms.

Then at the same time I am just as sure I would have died.

I'll be away for a while.. you kids play nice.